(With utmost apologies to Clement Clarke Moore.)
‘Twas the night before Christmas,
Not a meeple was stirring, mystic or mouse,
The dice bags were hung by the table with care,
In hopes that 5th Edition soon would be there;
Gamers all over nestled snug in their beds;
While the economics of Panamax churned through their heads;
Star Realms I played, alone through the App
Then settled my brain for a podcast nightcap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I lept from the table to see what was the matter.
Away to the front door I flew with a dash,
Threw open the door, security light flashed
The light on the yard gave a mighty strange glow,
And a shadow appeared, ’twas a shape I did know,
Believe it or don’t, but what did appear,
But a sled full of games that to my eye brought a tear,
and a game reviewer with a tie and a hat with a tassel,
I knew in a moment he must be Tom Vasel.
More rapid than tweets, his reviews in they came,
and he praised, and he shouted, and called them by name:
To the top of your list! or the bottom, where will they fall?
Now shut the door! dash away! You must play them all!”
As dice roll chaotically, when Space Cadets: Dice Duel fly
I knew at that moment all these games I must try;
I invited Tom in, he replied he would have to forego,
To record the best of 2014 for the upcoming show
I bid him adieu, this night what a goof!
And then, what was that, I heard on the roof?
Prancing and pawing, werewolf or hoof?
I was stacking up games, to the noise turned around,
Out of the chimney St. Nicholas hit the ground,
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
Like the Sheriff of Nottingham with ashes and soot;
A bundle of games he had flung on his back,
Like he’d come from a convention, his schwag in a sack.
His eyes-how they twinkled when I asked him to play!
King of Tokyo he said, I don’t have all day!
He started to roll, in Tokyo he did go,
He smiled through his beard, which was white as the snow;
We rolled back and forth, the game was afoot,
Hey Santa, be careful, now the games covered in soot!
He shot me a glance and I noticed his belly
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was a good gamer, the jolly old elf,
And I laughed when he beat me, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a roll of the dice
He destroyed the last monster, he put me on ice;
He helped me clean up, then turned back to his job,
Next time it’s Diamonds, I said. He gave me a nod
Then laying a finger next to his nose,
“Best two out of three,” his reply, then into chimney he rose;
Was I dreaming, what just happened? I thought to myself
But then I heard him proclaim, as he drove out of sight –