What is a Gwarkonian?

 

Gwarkonians are the future race of humans.  They live in Gwarkonia, what we currently call Earth, and exist in a world fully encompassed with inclusion, humor, and the perpetual groove. Peace, camaraderie and general goodwill is sustained on Gwarkonia through recreation of all sorts: gaming, music, humor, and most importantly, communication.  While history has yet to be written, soothsayers foretell that at some point in the future, a revolution occurred and the geek inherited the earth.  In time, the geek evolved into the Gwarkonian; a peaceful race of highly developed, social creatures.

It is further prophesied that they created time machines and have traveled back in time to our present; to recruit highly evolved humans with a sense of humor and an affinity for cardboard, dice, and meeples.  

It is thought that their intention is to identify and develop these human into Gwarkonians, thus averting the revolution and hastening the creation of their Utopian Society.  Because we are in the present, we do not have a true understanding of exactly when (or if) the revolution will start, how it will play out, and when it will end.

There are many who do not believe the validity of these tales.  They might point at a lack of evidence or state that we don’t even know what a Gwarkonian looks like.  Do they look like us or do they have big, pointy teeth?  Those who believe say they look like you or me.  Could a Gwarkonian be the player to your left, the one that seems to know all the rules and always has a joke and handful of gummy bears?  Could you be a Gwarkonian?  If so, our future is in your hands.  It’s your move.

 


 

Recently discovered historical documents from secret Gwarkonian recruitment camps (under the guise of game days and conventions):

2013

It was the year 5477 when Gwarkonian Archaeologists stumbled upon the ancient ruins of the geek.  Within those ruins they found their past, tucked away in the rubble were petrified pieces that resembled weapons, heroes, and machines.  They found hardened boards of many colors and shapes.  They discovered one of the fabled home-bases, where the original Gwarkonians plotted the revolution…when the geeks inherited the Earth and transformed it into Gwarkonia; the peaceful, future world they have come to know.  A world filled with humor, music, and gummy snacks.  It was then they decided to build a time machine, travel back in time, and hasten the future coming of Gwarkonia.  They traveled to the year 2013 and began their recruitment.  Thus, Gwarkoni-Con has been thrust upon us!

2014

Another year is in the books and the Gwarkonians have been busy traveling back in time, recruiting the ancient race to become Gwarkonians, thus hastening the salvation of the planet we currently know as Earth.  The time is now (well, a few weeks from now) and the revolution is upon us.  THE GWARKONIANS WANT YOU!

Hop in your TARDIS, or preferred time travel device, and head to the year 5477 (November 8, to be exact), to Gwarkonia, the peaceful future that is filled with humor, music, and dice…lots of dice.  More than you would expect, really.

Please join us for Gwarkoni-Con II.  Bigger and better than last year, we will have scrumptious snacks, plenty of game tables, and door prizes; The bag of crap I found in a drawer is back by popular demand, upgraded to a box of crap I found in some drawers!  More info on games and events to come, so stay tuned and we are looking forward to seeing you here.

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